Creating Shadows

I can't remember the last time a wrote on my blog... actually wonder if I should feel embarrassed.

haha when I started typing I was sure I had something important to say, but now I can't remember what it was.

Oh yes, this might seem trivial and selfish, but it is MY blog, my space to vent, sjoe surely I shouldn't have to substantiate my self... must be because I feel guilty?

I was thinking to myself the other day, sitting on the Kaif lawns watching all the students walk by and how different each one was and how even though they were different most were friends with each other. That is there wasn't this constant flock of the same people together.

Yet when I'm in Richards Bay, the case is entirely different and to belong to a group or to have any kind of friend you have to fit into their description of what is acceptable dress and behaviour...

I have now come to the conclusion that I need to live to very separate live, and have to separate identities, not that Rhodes doesn't accept the Richards Bay, but that the Richards Bay me is a allot more reserved and in short isn't really what I want to be. So one could assume that the Rhodes identity is the real me, but even this is wrong, since I tend to drop a few of the loved habits of mine that come out when I'm back home, but only because it is more of am inside joke and language than out of trying to be accepted by my friends back here.

Let me point out quickly that I do not look to be accepted, but I do like any other individual enjoy being part of a group.

I just wish Richards Bay could some how turn from its childish manner of putting people into boxes and thus excluding themselves form experiences that could be diversified by contact with the less acceptable dress code. Almost all back home have this closed mindset that is set in the present now and doesn't seem to accept change so readily unless the head macho of coolness deems it so. People need to be more accepting and challenging, that is not believe in a right or wrong, but actually challenge the ideals and new ideas in a rational manner that allows one to accept the notion for what it is, but then still be able to develop their own identity around it with out be shunned or frowned at.

Hopefully my little rant makes sense, and it is not just a jumble of hot emotion, don't strive to be objective, but I do strive to accept possibilities outside my boundaries with out allowing it to influence me against my will.